• A Thousand First Times

    If only I could tell you, how much I love you

    Falling in love with you has never felt like something I decided. It was more like something that decided me. Like my body already knew how to breathe you in before I even understood what it meant. It is my favourite thing I have ever done and the only thing I will ever want to keep doing. Again and again. Even when the weight of it feels too much. Even when I think I have given everything I have. I would still wake up with the same smile. I would still let myself fall like the first time never ended.

    If tomorrow stripped me of everything I own. If silence was all I had left. I would still choose the ruin of loving you. Because who am I without this hopelessly sensitive heart. Who am I if not the person who feels too much. Who believes too much. Who risks everything for the warmth of being close to you.

    There is nothing simple about it. It is reckless. It is heavy. It is tender enough to hurt. But in the breaking there is life. In the ache there is proof that I exist. And if I could only ever do one thing forever it would be this. To fall into you. To keep falling. To make the fall my home.

    Because without you I am only a body moving through time. With you I am a heart that remembers what it means to be alive. And that is why I will never stop. Not in this life. Not in any other. Always you. Always the fall. Always the smile that comes with it.

    -aaditya.

  • Yudhisthira, Dog and Dharma- An Epic Tale

    In today’s world there is rarely anyone who is unknown of the Epic of Mahabharata. The tale which started way back and was finally triggered by the insult and harm directed towards the reputation and modesty of a woman, which eventually led to the victory of Dharma over Adharma. Svargarohana Parva or the Book of the Ascent to Heaven, is the last of eighteen books of the Indian Epic Mahabharata. It is one of the shortest books in the Mahabharata. Svargarohana Parva describes the arrival of Yudhishthira in heaven, his visit to hell and what he finds in both places.

    In the ending chapters of this book, there is a story, which is not known to many. This post is about that story, which follows the renouncement of the worldly pleasures by the 5 Pandavas and their wife Draupadi. What is unknown to many is the fact that, along with the 6 of them, there was another living being who followed them in their journey towards eternal salvation, i.e., to Meru Hill in the Himalayas. That being was a Dog, who is now referred to as the Indian Pariah Dog.
    In their journey, the first to consume death was Draupadi. Then next who fell was Sahadeva. Then following him, died Nakula. After Nakula, died Arjuna. After all of them the next who died was Bheema. Despite all of these deaths, Yudhishthira never stopped, and so did the dog. Yudhishthira cited various reasons like “Moh” (attraction), “Ati Chaturta” (Oversmartness) “Ghamand” (pride), “abhiman” (conceited), “laparvaahi” (carelessness), as the main causes of the fall of the 4 Pandavas and Draupadi.
    The dog and Yudhishthira were the only ones still wandering the earth. Then finally came down on Earth, in his Chariot, God Indra. He praised Yudhishthira and invited him to ascend to heaven in his Chariot.
    Then the following conversation took place –
    Indra – “Come with me and take your place in Heaven”.

    Yudhishthira – “The dog must come with me”.

    Indra – “Its not possible. The dog has no place in heaven for he is old, thin and has no purpose”.

    Yudhishthira – “Then, I don’t seek heaven as well. In times of despair, and in moments of extreme sadness; when all my blood bonders had left; and when my own wife left me; this dog was there every time. He gave me unconditional love, and asked for nothing in return. The pleasures of heaven will mean nothing to me in comparison to its grief. It has done nothing to deserve abandonment and had none of the weaknesses of my wife and brothers. If it does not deserve to go to heaven, then neither do I.”
    Then Yudhishthira turned his back and was about to leave, when suddenly this happened.

    Indra – “Stop Yudhishthira. None have the qualities that you possess, O Yudhishthira. The Dog is Dharma, from whom you have descended.”

    The Dog then transformed into the God of Dharma and blessed Yudhishthira for his selflessness, loyalty and dedication to righteousness in all circumstances. And this, with the blessings, Yudhishthira rose to heaven in the Chariot of Indra.

    Source – Svargarohana Parva or the Book of the Ascent to Heaven

    Written and Summarised by Aaditya Bajpai

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